一、幽默的英语句子
1) Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是橘段永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。（老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）
11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
"现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "
"努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去圆旁誉证明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
"工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作。
16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲启禅戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17)When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。
19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？
二、励志的英语句子
1.No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
2.If you fail, don't forget to learn your lesson.
如果你失败了，千万别忘了汲取教训。
3.Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间
4.Live a noble and honest life. Reviving past times in your old age will help you to enjoy your life again.
过一种高尚而诚实的生活。当你年老时回想起过去，你就能再一次享受人生。
5.To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6.Never judge people by their appearance.
永远不要以貌取人。
7.Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
8.Remember the best love is to love others unconditionally rather than make demands on them.
记住：最好的爱存在于对别人的爱胜于对别人的索求之上。
9.Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.
举起你的酒杯吧。不要吝啬洒上你最好的香水，你想用的时候就享用吧！
10.Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.
寻找更多的知识，多读一些书，坐在你家的前廊里，以赞美的眼光去享受眼前的风景，不要带上任何功利的想法。
11.Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
在你想了解别人也想让别人了解你之前，先完善并了解自己。
12.Do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION.
不要将你的东西为了某一个特别的时刻而预留着，因为你生活的每一天都是那么特别。
13.Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。
14."There are only two creatures," says a proverb, "who can surmount the pyramids-the eagle and the snail."
俗话说：“能登上金字塔的生物，只有两种------鹰和蜗牛。”
15.Remember: Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
记住：任何事情的发生都有因有起。
16.It only needs early cultivation to become a power.
只需及早培养，记忆自会成为一种才能。
17.Don't let a little dispute break up a great friendship.
不要让小小的争端损毁了一场伟大的友谊。
18. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
19. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; not only about survival.
生活是一串串的快乐时光；我们不仅仅是为了生存而生存。
20.Forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times.
真正的朋友会与你一同度过困难、伤心和烦恼的时刻。
21.Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
22.Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
23.However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names.
不论你的生活如何卑贱，你要面对它生活，不要躲避它，更别用恶言咒骂它。
24. The smallest courtesies along the rough roads of life are like the little birds that sing to us all winter long, and make that season of ice and snow more endurable.
在坎坷的生活道路上，最细小的礼貌犹如在漫长的冬天为我们歌唱的小鸟，那歌声使冰天雪地的寒冷变得较易忍受。
25. When you quarrel with a close friend, talk about the main dish, don't quibble over the appetizers.
当你和你亲近的人吵嘴的时候，试着就事论事，不要扯出那些陈芝麻、烂谷子的事。
26."Who shuts love out, in turn shall be shut out from love."
“谁拒爱于门外，也必将被爱拒诸门外。”
27. Perseverance can sometimes equal genius in its results.
毅力在效果上有时能同天才相比。
1. 英文句子搞笑谐音中文
Room out high people 世外高人
When the moonhas its ownlook up 明月几时有 自己抬头瞅
I am not a casual person,but it is not people casually 我不是随便的人，但随便起来就不是人
Other people's road,let others have no way out. 走别人的路，让别人无路可走
Water to pure have no fish,people are invincible to 水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌
Give me a girl,Ican create a nation 给我一个姑娘，我可以创造一个民族
I want to love,butalready late. 我想早恋，但是已庆扒毁经晚了
Money is not a problem,the problem is no money 钱不是问题，问题是没钱
够不够呢 ，，嗯哼？！
2. 幽默的英文句子
【第一条】英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。
【第二条】英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自誉备己，我老婆比她们都好。【第三条】英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。
【第四条】英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。【第五条】英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。
【第六条】英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！【第七条】英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。【第八条】英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。
【第九条】英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。【第十条】英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.中文：男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那此核叫风骚。
【第十一条】英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.中文：一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。【第十二条】英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.中文：毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。
【第十三条】英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good？中文：大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？【第十四条】英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.中文：天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。【第十五条】英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have！中文：理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！【第十六条】英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.中文：再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。
【第十七条】英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.中文：思想有多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。【第十八条】英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.中文：中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。
【第十九条】英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.中文：你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。【第二十条】英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.中文：女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。
【第二十一条】英文：If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.中文：你丫别跟哥谈良心，哥没有，上几天刚捐了。【第二十二条】英文：Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.中文：去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。
【第二十三条】英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.中文：女人有俩张嘴，一张嘴道是非，一张嘴会吃人。【第二十四条】英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.中文：其实，一天班可短暂了，电脑一开一关就过去了。
【第二十五条】英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.中文：把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉，剩下的7a686964616fe78988e69d8331333361316664就是素质。【第二十六条】英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何处理倒霉。
【第二十七条】英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好才下锅。【第二十八条】英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.中文：上联：活着没意义，下联：自杀没勇气，横批：白走一回。
【第二十九条】英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry！中文：我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！【第三十条】英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.中文：过完了今天，就不要再见面，我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。【第三十一条】英文：What I want, is shameless. What t。
3. 幽默英语（要中文翻译）小笑话
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you！" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说："我想他伤得很厉害."医生说："我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说："我没死，我还活着."妻子说："安静，医生比你懂得多." 2：英： You can't go without me The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 译： 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车，但是没有人给他让路. "喂，让我上车！"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了，你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机！"那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”
那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"？ 亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。
你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。
你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是黄色的。
你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？ 6:Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。” 7:How Many Rabbits? Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine? Jonathan: I've got one already, sir. 多少只兔子？ 老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？ 乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？ 乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。 8:These Are My Jeans After going on a diet,a woman felt 。
4. 英语笑话带翻译
I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道这个谚语吗？ 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能让我们的老师回去吗？ 有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。
一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌？ 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。
瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科医生：是的。
但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。
5. 英语笑话带翻译
Father:do you know?Today is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful!
Son:Great occasion of nation stanza?Is just Chinese?
Father:do you guess a foreign country to have?
Son:this I also don't know, affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"!
Father:。。
爸爸：你知道吗？今天是国庆节，抗日也成功啦！
儿子：？？国庆节？只是中国的吗？
爸爸：你猜猜外国有没有？
儿子：这我还不知道，肯定是"国厌节"啦！
爸爸：。
6. 急求一则英语幽默笑话,附中文翻译（尽量简短）
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问："主啊， 一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟."最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟."
7. 求几个英文幽默段子（要中文翻译,最好是发生在我们身边的事）
I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"
我刚咬了自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头！”
【第一条】
英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.
中文：考试害了多少个孩子宽饥，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。
【第二条】
英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.
中文：对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。
【第三条】
英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.
中文：你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。
【第四条】
英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.
中文：自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。
【第五条】
英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.
中文：我空有一身泡妞的本薯扒事，可惜自己是个妞。
【第六条】
英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke!
中文：我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！
【第七条】
英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.
中文：考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。
【第八条】
英文：Apoad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.
中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。
【第九条】
英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he"s salary.
中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。
【第十条】
英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.
中文：男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那慎手返叫风骚。
【第十一条】
英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.
中文：一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。
【第十二条】
英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.
中文：毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。
【第十三条】
英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good?
中文：大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？
【第十四条】
英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the picks.
中文：天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。
【第十五条】
英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have!
中文：理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！
【第十六条】
英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.
中文：再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。
【第十七条】
英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.
中文：思想有多远，你就
滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。
【第十八条】
英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don"t love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.
中文：中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。
【第十九条】
英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.
中文：你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。
【第二十条】
英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.
中文：女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。
【第二十一条】
英文：If you don"t like pother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.
中文：你丫别跟哥谈良心，哥没有，上几天刚捐了。
【第二十二条】
英文：Go go go, don"t waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.
中文：去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。
【第二十三条】
英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.
中文：女人有俩张嘴，一张嘴道是非，一张嘴会吃人。
【第二十四条】
英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.
中文：其实，一天班可短暂了，电脑一开一关就过去了。
【第二十五条】
英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.
中文：把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉，剩下的就是素质。
【第二十六条】
英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.
中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何处理倒霉。
【第二十七条】
英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.
中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好才下锅。
【第二十八条】
英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.
中文：上联：活着没意义，下联：自杀没勇气，横批：白走一回。
【第二十九条】
英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry!
中文：我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！
【第三十条】
英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.
中文：过完了今天，就不要再见面，我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。
【第三十一条】
英文：What I want, is shameless. What to eat, is not lose.
中文：我什么都要，就是不要脸。什么都吃，就是不吃亏。
【第三十二条】
英文：The moment when his grandson, because the world is your uncle.
中文：时刻把自己当孙子，因为全世界都你大爷的。
【第三十三条】
英文：Single sister, I always strive for; to a married woman, I never give up.
中文：对单
身妹妹，我始终争取；对有夫之妇，我从未放弃。
【第三十四条】
英文：Some people, really let you feel bad, some people, to learn to let you have a toothache!
中文：有些人，认真的让你心疼，有些人，欠扁的让你牙疼！
【第三十五条】
英文：When I was young I like to play hide and seek, when the friends are hidden well, I went home.
中文：小时候我喜欢玩捉迷藏，当朋友们都藏好后，我就回家。
【第三十六条】
英文：Real drunby, dare to face itself has no thickness.
中文：真正的装逼，敢于直面本身没有厚度的脸皮。
【第三十七条】
英文：My this life altogether wrong two things, one is born, the other is to live.
中文：我这一生一共做错两件事，其一是生出来，另一是活下去。
【第三十八条】
英文：I stand in the streets of Tokyo, loudly singing the Anthem of Japan -- we are Qin Shousheng.
中文：我站在东京街头，大声高歌日本国歌——我们都是秦寿生。
【第三十九条】
英文：Saw the ugly, had not seen so ugly. At first glance the pretty ugly, a more careful look ugly!
中文：见过丑的，没见过这么丑的。乍一看挺丑，仔细一看更丑！
【第四十条】
英文：Test book, simply pig. Don"t panic if caught cheating, pretend to be.
中文：考试不翻书，简直头猪。作弊不要慌，逮到就要装。
【第四十一条】
英文：Political fail? Normal! China 1300000000 people, it"s your turn when the president?
中文：政治不及格？正常！中国13亿人，轮到你当国家主席吗？
【第四十二条】
英文：Who dares to invade China, we can only give it a Chinese sentence: the bathroom lighting.
中文：谁再敢侵略中国，我们只能送它一句中文：厕所里点灯。
